When their “Domino Theory” of ecological disasters fails to produce the desired results, the Yahweh Elohim resort to chemical weapons and weaponized weather modification, fittingly resulting in plagues on a Biblical scale, but Pharaoh still refuses to free the slaves. Just who was this stubborn Egyptian king? By piecing together the historical, Biblical and scientific records, Dave…
Ecological Dominos
A series of ecological disasters ostensibly designed to convince Pharaoh to release the Israelite slaves into Yahwelian custody only serves to strengthen Pharaoh’s resolve to keep them under Egyptian rule. But of course Jehovah El-Sadday knew all along that this would happen, so he has kept a few surprises in reserve. Also: Was Moses’ reluctance…
Let My Extras Go!
The hologram in the “burning bush” gives Moses a mission, should he choose to accept it: to go to Pharaoh and demand the release of the Hebrew slaves so they can serve the Yahwelians instead. Moses is provided with the gadgetry and passwords necessary to complete the assignment, and is teamed up with his slick-talking…
Bull Rushers & Bush Burners
A new book of the Bible, a new theme song, but the same old host. We begin our study of Exodus. Topics include Egyptian Replacement Theory, Habitat for Midwives, Hebrew Lives Matter, Egyptian Lives Don’t Matter, Hebrew-on-Hebrew Crime, the degradation of holographically reconstructed patterns, and the effect of time dilation on the lifespans of the gods. Plus,…
Eden Reconsidered
If you think the Garden of Eden story in Genesis 2 through 4 is just a fairy tale, think again. And listen again, because Dave in Kentucky got it wrong the first time around, and corrects the record with this episode, revealing the location of the garden, the real reason man was created, and perhaps…
Hebrew Speedwriting
How did the lack of vowels in ancient Hebrew writing lead to mistranslations and mispronunciations? Were the Hebrew patriarchs morally upright, or were they just a bunch of hooligans? Was their morality (or lack of same) determined by their environment, or was it in their DNA? How might German translators have contributed to the mispronunciation…
The Road to Serfdom
Is the universe teleological, or merely logical? Who or what was the Gnostic demiurge? Did Egyptian cattlemen conduct range wars against Hebrew sheepherders in the Land o’ Goshen? Did Ancient Egypt suffer hyperinflation due to too much silver chasing too little bread? How can people with livestock aplenty suffer from a famine? (No, they weren’t…
The Prepper Gene
After bringing in the sheaves throughout seven years of plenty, during the following lean years Joseph gradually releases surplus grain from the Strategic Corn Reserves. Word reaches famine-stricken Canaan that Egypt has plenty of food, so Jacob sends ten of his sons there to buy some, where they fail to recognize Joseph as their long-lost…
Dream Weaver
Joseph interprets the dreams of Pharaoh’s butler, Pharaoh’s baker and Pharaoh himself, and gives such accurate readings that he is not only released from prison; he becomes Pharaoh’s second in command and immediately launches a major government project to deal with a predicted catastrophe. Soon to become a major motion picture in an alternate timeline. …
Of Joseph and Judah
Joseph’s brothers get tired of him tattling on him, so they sell him into slavery, where he must resist the persistent advances of his master’s promiscuous wife. The aptly-named Onan commits a capital offense by practicing the coitus interruptus method of birth control. The widow Tamar plays the harlot, and Judah gets his former daughter-in-law pregnant. There’s…
From Jacob to Israel & Esau to Edom
Jacob’s sons play a dirty trick involving circumcision, and Jacob is outraged, though not in any moral sense. Accepting Yahwelian protection, Jacob banishes any other gods, real or imagined, and builds an altar to the Yahwelians. El Sadday, the Almighty God, appears to Jacob and renames him Israel before beaming back up. The lineage of Esau…
Encampment of the Gods
In episode 13, the Biblical soap opera continues, with Laban in hot pursuit of Jacob and his family. Once he catches up, Rachel proves herself to be a clever smuggler, whereupon a treaty establishes a demilitarized zone. Jacob happens upon an encampment of the gods, and wrestles with one of them until dawn. Esau greets…
Swindles, Superstitions & Spells
The love triangle of Jacob, Rachel and Leah can be summed up in the words of the Lovin’ Spoonful, “Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her, but then you get distracted by her older sister.” Except in this case, it’s the girls’ father who masterminds the distraction. A battle of wits…
Isaac, Rebekah & Sons
Episode 11 involves cases of mistaken identity, disputes over water rights, receiving blessings under false pretenses, plots of revenge, and violations of airspace by unidentified craft. The story may or may not be true, and some of the names may have been changed, but not for the purpose of protecting the innocent, because frankly, the…
SERMONS Video #5 – Noah’s Barbecue
In this episode, the Yahweh Elohim decide to destroy mankind — or do they? Noah and his family are spared, plus enough other creatures to repopulate the planet, so what was the point? Noah is grateful, however, so he builds an altar and barbecues some of the surplus clean beasts for them. This becomes a tradition, even after the…
SERMONS Video #4 – Of Watchers & Nephilim
Our fourth video concludes the story of Enoch and the Watchers that was begun in the previous episode. Are the Nephilim giants, fallen angels, or both? Does the term Nephilim apply to the Watchers, their offspring, or both? Is the Watcher and the “holy one” from Nebuchadnezzar’s dream in Daniel 4:13 two separate beings, or…
SERMONS Video #3 – They Might Be Giants
In our third video, we explain and expand upon the first four verses of Genesis 6, about the mating of the sons of God with the daughters of men, and their resulting giant offspring. First Enoch (the Ethiopic Book of Enoch) provides a much more detailed account, which is given in part here, and will…
SERMONS Video #2 – Serpents & Siblings & Spawn
In this second video, we continue our look at Genesis with chapters 3 through 5, including the story of the serpent convincing Eve (and, through her, Adam) to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, as well as the stories of Cain, Abel, and those who came after them, up to the…
SERMONS Video #1: “In the Beginning…”
A classic episode, now new and improved with added video. Gives a verse-by-verse analysis of the first two chapters of the Book of Genesis. Compares Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth” to John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word…